still holding on to baby a

Baby A is still with us, beyond the first week of June as I dreamed he would be. But there is finally movement toward placement. His new family knows about him. His agency, their agency, is waiting for ICPC approval before they set a placement date. I can only imagine how his family must feel, knowing he’s so close, growing, meeting milestones, while they wait on paperwork and forms. If I was in their shoes, Read More

baby a

We’re now well into April and our foster baby, Baby A, is still with us. At some point along the way he began to feel like my baby, my child. And yet I know I will have to let him go. The heartache I will experience, the loss Big J, Little J, and Little E will feel, brings to mind his birth mother. His birth father if he knows of Baby A’s existence. What must Read More

bare on ChronicallyLit

Fifteen years ago I took my first personal interest writing class. At that point in my life it was more therapy than craft, and I wrote my first essay about journeying through infertility in that class. That essay, entitled bare, is finally published. You can find it on ChronciallyLit. grace for each moment, one moment at a time

a rock running a marathon

“What’s that,” you ask? “How can a rock run?” Well, okay, I don’t mean it literally. You see, I am the rock. Or at least I’m supposed to be a rock, according to a parenting book I read not too long ago (okay, apparently it was back in June of last year, but it feels like not long ago). It talked about how our job as parents is to be grounded, stable, to be that Read More

baby brain and the holidays

We’ve had a foster baby with us for a couple of months now. He’s super cute, has a full head of black, curly hair, and has eyes so big you can see him soaking in the world around him. He joined us when he was just a week old so I’ve had interrupted sleep and feel like I’m just coming out of a baby fog. We’ve been living in this dichotomy of falling absolutely in Read More

stuck in midair with Sarah

Welcome, Sarah, to myferriswheel. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with the world. Sarah Johnson is a wife and mother who homeschools her kids, enjoys arranging flowers, powerlifting, playing the trumpet, and occasionally works as a nurse practitioner in her spare time. You can find her on FB (Craig-Sarah Wilson Johnson) or reach her at What specific hurdles into parenthood have you faced and what does your family look like today? When Read More

moonShine review and me

No, I don’t drink moonshine. But I do take photographs. This month I have the privilege of being the featured photographer in moonShine review. It was a lot of fun culling through photos, choosing what to submit, and then finding out which photographs were selected for publication. Head on over to moonShine review’s website to order your copy for the literature and photography lover in your life. Or just order one for yourself. grace for Read More

stuck in midair with Kimberly

Welcome, Kimberly, to myferriswheel. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with the world. Kimberly is just beginning to emerge from the baby-induced brain-fog of the past seven years, and hopes to someday take up where she left off at (truth and grace in marriage) and (the journey from infertility to parenthood). She is also a freelance writer and editor, is blessed with a husband who also is a great father, but Read More

ferris wheel: stuck in midair

Since the arrival of Counting Colors, I have encountered many women who have been impacted by infertility, loss, or adoption. And many of them have expressed the fact that they don’t feel understood, don’t feel they have a voice. Grief and hard places can be isolating, can make you feel stuck, like a Ferris wheel arcing up and around only to stop at a place you don’t want to be, dangling you in midair, perhaps Read More

thankful for this body

This is a re-post from a few years ago, but as the school year gets into gear and life spins us forward, I want to remember how thankful I truly am. Enjoy! Big J and I just got back from a homeschool conference, my mind and heart full of encouragement, ideas and hope for the year to come. The vendor hall buzzed with activity and we were able to look over a few things we Read More